How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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