she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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