I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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