Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Im part way to drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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