please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
