i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
