This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
