im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
