Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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