I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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