im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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