why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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