his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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