a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
