Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
