i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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