HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
