My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
