Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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