I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
