Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize