Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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