they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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