Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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