I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
