My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
