One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish i was in the wii world.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize