We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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