We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
another moral hangover. fuck.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
