My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize