the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
