yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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