everyone is single if you try hard enough
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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