come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
