you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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