we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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