My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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