I wish I could teleport
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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