I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize