try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
