maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
