very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize