I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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