this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
