At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize