how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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