i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize