Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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