its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
