I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
