Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
