I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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