You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
