i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
