There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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