Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
