Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
