Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
