We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
