Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
