When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Damn victory sex feels great
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
