Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
