That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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