I want to walk on stilts...naked
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
