i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize