somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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