Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
